Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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