I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
