I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
