So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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