Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
