Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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