He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
This toilet bowl is my home.
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