Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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