my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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