and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
