Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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