Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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