Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
In America we eat man semen.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
