brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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