well I can't set my house on fire every night
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
