Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
