Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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