sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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