Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
