Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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