Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
