The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
where are my eyebrows?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
