Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
be right there i have to get my cape
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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