you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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