Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
It's Friday. Sex?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
