I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
