hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
