Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
