a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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