He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
