I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
