Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
