At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
