The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
