are you still at the devil's house?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
