i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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