Please, let me fuck your mom
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
