I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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