Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
