Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
