I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
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