After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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