the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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