I smell stomach acid.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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