New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
