i already hear my dad disowning me
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
