i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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