If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Terrible idea I love it
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
