Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
