Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
