and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
