Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
